Things I Want To Say To An Ex

Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

Where do I begin?

-I laughed at your jokes when they weren't funny; I pretended you were smart, and I spent way too much time with you. But really, you're boring, you have no sense of ambition and don't have much to say about anything. Back then, I didn't mind, but now, I have no idea what I was thinking. You stabbed me in the back, and now you won't leave me alone. We cannot be friends anymore. I hope you understand...Please. Go. Away.

-I knew you were lying, but I pretended I believed you so I didn't get hurt. At least you had some kind of personality, even if it wasn't all that great. It hurt less when you lied to my face than when you went and lied about me to my friend. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? We don't talk anymore, and I'm glad...let's keep it that way.

Essentially, you both suck, and you're not all that good looking so stop being so stuck up.

Actually, I don't know how that post was even worth my time.

That is all.

Goodbye and good riddance.

(And I know it's not in the post, but I'm going to do it anyway to bleach my brain from remembering):

Dear Boyfriend,

These are the reasons I love you:

-You're everything they're not. You have the same sense of humour I do, and you know the ways to my heart without even having to read it.

-You tease me in a nice way that makes me laugh, or hang up on you to get you back.

-You can tell exactly how I'm feeling from the word hello, and you'll help me no matter what.

-You act crazy, and it's impossible not to smile every time I think of you.

-You have the most amazing voice/laugh I have ever heard.

-You're a very good looking human.

-We connect in some way that I can't even explain.

-You're really clever and smart.

-You're good at computery stuff and you help me when I have no idea what I'm doing. And you're the world's best designer as I see it.

-You play piano!

-You don't like sport. Thank god.

-I don't feel like a complete shorty next to you. But you're still a bit taller. Maybe.

-You're honest with me. I couldn't appreciate that more.

-You're perfectEST. Pretty sure I now win.

-You still talk to me, even when I'm grumpy.

"Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony, oh love.."

We might be far away, but we're getting through it. We're strong enough for this to work because we are us. We are meant to be together, and we will be. I just know it.

Sayonara, fellow ninjas!! xoxo